Extended Interviews

Carole Lewis

Interviewers: Chris Shenk (CS), Matt Bendell (MB), CL = Carole Lewis
[editted by CS]


CS: I hadn’t heard at all about the hurricane (Hurricane Ike) situation. Can you go into that?

CL: Our house was not up on pilings. It was built on the ground. But we were 12' above sea level and we had electric storm shutters, and we weren’t worried about it at all. So we didn’t take anything out of the house when we left. And there was a tidal surge that came in right where we lived, 17' of water that came in and out probably for about 3 hours. So when we got back, every room in our house had holes in it. And every bit of our furniture had been sucked out to the bay. I had never seen anything quite like it. Our floors, our kitchen cabinets, 2 side-by-side refrigerators – gone. And it didn’t make me want to go out in a boat this summer at all, thinking about all of our stuff being out there. But anyway, we had to have the house torn down and it’s been an awful experience to go through.

CS: Now how was God important in your life during that?

CL: Well, I had just started writing a book, Give God a Year: Change Your Life Forever, 3 weeks before this hurricane. And I know that God, when He called me to write this book, knew exactly what was going to happen and that we needed to be up close and personal for the next year. And it was really a sweet journey. The first thing that happened, some friends of ours own a retreat center, which is about 2 hours from the bay. And they called that morning that we were evacuating and left a message on my phone that just said “Come here.” So I called them back and I said, “You know, we’ve got pets…” because they don’t have any pets up there ever. And (the owner of ) the retreat center said, “Bring them on. Come here.” So we took our dog and our bird and one cat with us. One of the cats got loose and rode out the hurricane. We found him in the attic of the garage when we got back. But we just couldn’t get him. He got loose and we couldn’t get him. And so we ended up staying there for 5 weeks. And God so knew what we needed. We had our own wellness week up there the middle of October. The storm happened on September 13th. And we were just like God just wrapped us in a cocoon until we could sort out what we were going to do. Our oldest daughter Lisa came up and started an Excel spreadsheet on my computer and helped me begin to reconstruct the contents of our house, which is a huge job. And you know, we just kind of hung out there until we could come back to the real world. And we made trips back and forth to our house to meet with adjustors and, you know, it was really a sweet time. And God has walked every step of the way with us. It’s still too fresh to know all the things that I’ve learned, but I can tell you that it is just “stuff”, and if you lose all your “stuff”, and you have your life and your health, you have everything. And so, we’re still walking down the road, don’t have a clue where we’re going to live. We don’t think we will probably rebuild. My husband has stage 4 prostate cancer, which he has had for 12 years. He was diagnosed in ’97. He was given a year and a half to two years to live, and he is still with us and doing well. But you know, at our age, we just feel like that probably that was the period of time that God gave us down there. We moved down there because of his cancer diagnosis, thinking we might not get to retire, so we’ll just do it now. And so we had 11 great years. So we don’t know what the next steps are, but we’re just waiting on God. We don’t want to make a mistake at all, and miss any part of His will in this journey.

MB: You had mentioned that since the storm you have been living in a rented townhouse. What are your neighbors like? Have you been able to get to know any of them?

CL: It’s been wonderful. Our minister to senior adults here at the church was retiring last December. And it’s her townhome. And she had bought a home with her children, and she was going to keep her little granddaughter while her daughter is a special ed teacher. But she didn’t feel like she could move until she sold her townhome. And she’d had it on the market for 6 months. And I called Linda and said, “Linda, what would you think about renting it to us? We’ll pay your payment and assessment.” And it was totally furnished. Everything was in it. We have not bought anything since Hurricane Ike. And it has been the greatest blessing. It’s just in a beautiful enclave. It has a pool and a lake and tennis courts and a clubhouse. And we have 12 families from our church that live in there. And of course, I have to walk the dog now because all the animals have to be on a leash, so I have just met some of the nicest people, and we just feel safe and secure and cared for there. We moved there December 15th a year ago, so it’s almost a year. And we really love it.

MB: It sounds like God really worked that out in an amazing way. That’s wonderful.

CL: He’s worked it all out. And you know, we need to have no fear. It’s honestly, we all go through trials. And I used to think when I’d hear somebody’s really sad story, that I was blessed. But I’ve realized that I just hadn’t lived long enough yet. You live long enough, you are going to have trials. And James 1 speaks to that, that we’re to count it all joy when we face these trials. And it has made me stronger and taught me to persevere as I go through these trials.

CS: Have you been able to minister to any of your neighbors there?

CL: Yes, I have. There’s a lady that lives 2 doors down from me that is out of work. And she lives with her son. And I’ve been able to find her some houses to clean and got her in touch with our benevolence ministry at the church. Their lights were turned off at one point. And she is a sweet believer. And we just met out by the lake when I was walking the dog one day. And bless her heart, she can’t clean my house because she’s afraid of cats. And I have two cats. And I don’t know how to get them secured, because I really need somebody to help me. So I’ve been praying about this fear that she has of cats. I’ve asked her “Have you ever been attacked by a cat?” And she said, “No, I haven’t.” But God gives us opportunities to minister wherever we are. If we just ask enough questions of people, they will tell us what’s going on in their lives.

MB: With so many people from your church living there in your neighborhood, do you have maybe a Bible study or a small group that you guys have in the community?

CL: No, I have talked to a couple of the ladies about a Bible study, because there’s 4 of us that teach Bible studies that live in there. And we could have it once a month and still only have to do it 3 or 4 times a year. And they are interested. We haven’t set it up yet. The townhouses happen to be 10 minutes away from our church, where I used to drive 46 miles every day. Now I’m 10 minutes away. So it’s really been just a wonderful blessing. But you know, we have to get permission for them to allow us to use the club room, but I think that could be arranged if they’d be willing to help me do it.

MB: You mentioned a little bit earlier about trials in life. I’ve read through your bio on-line that you’ve been through so many different things. Are there any stories that you could share of just how you’ve been able to minister to people through your story and some of the things that you’ve been through?

CL: Well, especially with my husband Johnny’s cancer, we have lots of people that call us that are diagnosed with stage IV cancer. But the thing that I’ve had the most as I travel, is our middle daughter Sherry was killed by a drunk driver on Thanksgiving night 2001. And I just cannot tell you how many people have lost children. And when I’m speaking at a church, they will bring people to me that aren’t even members of the church that so need a word from the Lord. And it has been a really sweet time to be able to minister to women who have lost their children and feel like that their whole life is gone. And you know, it’s being with my 3 granddaughters and my son-in-law at Thanksgiving so reassured me that God does not take it lightly when his children suffer. And the girls are doing well. They were 13, 15 and 19 when their mother died. And their daddy just did a fabulous job, finishing the job of raising them. One is out of college and married and has 2 little ones – she’s 27 now. Then the middle girl who was standing right beside her mother when she was hit is now a (college) senior and doing very well. I mean, it was a traumatic, horrible thing for those girls and Jeff to go through. I was not there. They had been at our house all day Thanksgiving and had gone to his parent’s home that night for dinner. And it happened in the driveway of his parent’s home. And the little one is in her second year of college. And Jeffrey married 2 years ago to a wonderful Christian woman who doesn’t have any children. So they’re grandparents to Cara and Michael’s two little ones and, you know, it just takes time. And I think the problem is we don’t realize that healing will come. But it takes time. And we just have to trust God that He knew the day that Sherry took her first breath, the day that she would take her last breath. And I’m very grateful that He didn’t tell me, because I wouldn’t have enjoyed a minute of her life. But for whatever reason, her life was through on this earth that night. And her mother-in-law and her brother-in-law came to the Lord within an hour of Sherry being hit, through going through that. And she had prayed for them for years. And the mother-in-law now goes to Beth Moore Bible studies and is the sweetest thing to watch. And we know that we have not lost our daughter. We know exactly where she is and we will see her again. And it’s just the hurt of not being able to……for her to see those grandkids. I went each time Cara had one of the babies and stayed a week with her, because that’s what her mother would have done, and that’s what I did with my girls when they had their babies. So you know, we just took up the slack where it had to be taken up, and life does go on. Bad things happen to people who are serving the Lord.

CS: Now Carole, how important was scripture that you had memorized during this time?

CL: The most important thing going through this was not even my healthy lifestyle that I live. It was the scripture memory that was so deep down in my heart. I never dreamed when Pat and I said we’re going to memorize one verse a week, and we had memorized 120 verses when Sherry was killed. And those verses, when I would wake up in the night and have what I call “Momma thoughts” – who's going to do the girl’s wedding, who's going to be there for the babies, who's going to do all this? And the Word would come around me that I had memorized. And not only has it comforted me, when I speak it is there. I don’t know what the hearer needs, but the Holy Spirit knows which verses need to come out. And instead of having to research verses and write them out on my notes, I just put the reference and the first word, so the verse is there. But many, many times there are verses that I didn’t even plan to say that come out when I’m speaking. And someone will tell me afterwards, “When you said that verse, it was right to me.”

CS: Can you think of an important verse during this time? Was there one that really ministered to your heart?

CL: Well, Psalm 27:13 has been a very special verse. And it says “I would have despaired if I had not believed I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” And I love that verse. But probably one of my life verses since Sherry’s death is Romans 15:13, and it says “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” And I pray that that’s what my life does, that it overflows with hope, not through any power that I have, but through the power of the Holy Spirit. People watch how we respond when bad things happen. Anybody makes a good showing when things are going well. And so, the lost world wants to know that we have something…..well, I think the Bible says we’re salt. And we need to make them thirsty for what we have.

CS: Good point.

MB: I know you’ve written about this before, but can you talk a little more in detail about the mother/daughter legacy?

CL: Yes, this was a book……..my oldest granddaughter, Cara, who was Sherry’s oldest child, got her acceptance letter to (college) the morning after Sherry’s death. And we were so concerned about her going off. It was her first time to be away from home. And so we began to pray that God would give her some friends who had had losses like she had had. And He gave her a suite mate whose mother had died of a brain aneurysm in May before Sherry died in November. And those two girls just bonded immediately. They didn’t know each other before. But Cara went to a Christian counselor at (college) and this counselor said “I want you to write about your mother for 30 minutes every day. I don’t want you to get to be 40 years old and realize that you never dealt with her death. You don’t have to just write stories about her death. Write stories about her life – things that made you laugh and things that you remember about your mother.” Well, my publisher had wanted me to write a book about grieving, and I didn’t have it in me. Not that I had not grieved, but I just believe that we do not sorrow as those who have no hope. And people had sent me books that I hadn’t even read. And I called friends that had lost children and said, “Did people send you books?” And…yes. And I said, “Did you read them?” “Well, no” So I began to think that people buy those books because they don’t know what to say to you and they send you a book. But I’m not sure that people really read those books, because everybody’s experience is different. So Cara began to give me these stories she had written, and I would take them down on the pier in the evenings when I’d get home, and read them to Johnny. And we would both cry and read these wonderful stories that Cara had written about her mom, because we knew her mom better than most anybody, being her parents. And they were so Sherry. And so when Gospel Light kept talking to me about writing a book, I said, “I might have it in me to write a legacy book.” I had my own mom live with me the last 3 years of her life, and she died in ’03. And I said, “You know, the legacy that my mom passed down to me, that I passed down to Sherry, that Sherry passed down to her 3 girls, I think there’s a story in that.” And the takeaway of that whole book is it’s never too late to begin leaving a godly legacy. You know, if you’ve made mistakes, and we’ve all made mistakes in parenting, you ask for forgiveness and you begin your legacy today. But we wrote Cara…….I kind of wrapped my words around Cara’s words, talking about the legacy of laughter and the legacy of family, and the legacy of fun, and the legacy of caring, and all the things that……..they’re caught. They’re not taught. They’re caught by children. And I know when Sherry died, Beth Moore is a member of my church and she spoke at Sherry’s memorial service, and she said “You 3 girls have gotten more loving in your short lives than most of us get if we live to be 90.” And it was so true. My daughter Sherry never wanted to be anything but a wife and mother. And she was a consummate mom, never had worked, and just poured her life into those girls. And so this book was very therapeutic for Cara and I to write it together. And I just love it. It’s a great book.

MB: That’s a very powerful story, and it sounds like so many people could relate to that too.

CL: Well, they do. And I’ve found that people will buy 4 copies of it – “I want to give a copy to each of my sisters and my mom…’” It’s an easy read and it’s not a condemning book. It’s really not about moms that only have daughters. It’s about every daughter has a mom. And it’s that kind of legacy. And that women, whether we like it or not, we are the home builders, and we pass down the legacy to our children.

MB: One more thing here. I know you shared a story earlier about prayer, but I was wondering if you had any more about how you’ve really seen God answer prayer in your life or maybe even somebody else that you’ve worked with.

CL: Well, as I wrote Give God a Year, which just came out this week, the two things in the book to take away, if you will, are to pray and obey. And I had a card that I wrote on one side of the index card “my part” and on the other side “God’s part”. And God’s part are things that I have no power to make happen. Number 1 on God’s part was for my husband to be healed of cancer. And that will either happen, he will either be ultimately healed or God could heal him and He would get all the glory for it if He chose to heal him. But one of the things on my part was to do strength training. I didn’t want to do strength training. I love aerobic exercise, but I’m 67 years old and I was getting a lot of weakness in my upper body. My legs can go forever, but I was getting to the point where I couldn’t even take a lid off of a water bottle because I was losing my upper body strength. Well, I went that whole year, and it was August 23 of this year, ’09, and I started the second year, because some of the things I had done very well on and other things I was not pleased with my progress. So I said, “God, I’m going to do another year.” And I just put that right back on my list. I need to do strength training. And do you know, in September, God sent me a personal trainer who started working out with me. But when she saw how bad I was, she said, “Would you mind if I just train you and I don’t work out with you for a few months. I want to be sure you don’t get any injuries.” And she is just amazed. I’m already at 15 pound weights and not sore any longer. We’ve been working out together about 8 or 9 weeks now. And I’m even starting to like it. I cannot believe that I’m saying that. But God is so sweet. If we ask Him and we obey Him in what we know to do. You know, I put that on the list only because I needed it, not because I wanted to do it at all. And now I’ve got a trainer on Monday and Wednesday every week who’s working with me. And you know, it’s just been great. So He answers our wants and our needs, but we’ve got to put them down. And a lot of times, we don’t write down things because we don’t want to think about them for one reason. And one of the things on my card on God’s part is for me to get to my weight loss goal and stay there. I am just always up 3 and down 2, up 3, and this fall I lost 6 pounds in the year after Hurricane Ike. And I could have gained 20, so I was grateful for that. But I’ve lost another 10 since August 24th, and I’m getting almost to my goal. But the reason I put it on God’s part is because I have no power to make this happen. Without His strength and my obedience, it’s never going to happen, and I’m never going to stay there. So, we’re coming along and I’m thrilled about it.

CS: Definitely. That’s really neat. It’s also encouraging to hear that you’re still doing it. After all these years, that……

CL: Almost 30 years! You’d think that I would have it down pat, wouldn’t you?

CS: No, it’s a lifetime thing. That’s for sure.

CL: It is. It’s a lifestyle and you know the trainer is just amazed that I’m not sore. She’ll work me out really hard, and I told her “I’m tempted to lie to you, because I think it’s going to be so much harder on me if I tell you that I’m not sore.” But she said, “No, your body is responding.” And that is amazing to me because to work out with 15 pound weights, every time I think, “Oh my goodness. I’m going to be sore Wednesday.” But our bodies are so designed that they want to heal themselves, just given half a chance. You know, we find people in our programs that are on all kinds of diabetes medication. If they can lose 10% of their body weight and start walking, many times they get off of their diabetes medication. So the body wants to heal itself, but in America, we’re abusing our bodies something fierce.

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